Posts Tagged ‘Family’

You’ll shoot your eye out!

A mile and a half hiked! Almost done!

Nice Shirt me! What is up with my chin?

In the past few weeks I have made it a point to stop looking back on what could have been, who did what wrong, what if’s and just all of the negative that has been surrounding my life. If you are over the age of 12 and acting under 12, I have no use for you in my life. Accepting the way things have turned out does not make them hurt any less BUT dwelling on them only makes that hurt magnified.

About a month ago I found out the my cousin was dating a girl that I went to K-8th grade with. Not only was it so weird (good weird!) to see her again but because of my connection with her on Facebook, I started to get other people requesting me from school! People I had not seen or spoken to in almost 20 years.

I had chosen in the past to not give myself enough credit for the good person I am. I have said before, we all make stupid mistakes but that doesn’t define us as a whole. Don’t forget your mistakes because they do help you navigate your future. If you don’t learn from them, the mistake was for nothing.

I actually reconnected with someone that I had “dated” 6th through 8th grade. I quote because how much can you really date or understand feelings at 12/13? I moved out of NJ  when I was 13 so there was really no way to find that out at the time. I decided to go back home and see some friends again. My intention was to see a bunch of people but I never made it. I spent an amazing 14 hours with an amazing person. It is truly a speechless moment when you can instantly reconnect with someone as if no time had passed at all.

I kept myself closed off for many months because of what I thought I wanted for my life. I have come to realize that what “I wanted” was only what I was willing to settle for or thought I deserved. I held back from doing things that I thought were not okay for me and it took only him, who always knew me, to help me see that all I was doing was punishing myself for the actions of others. I deserve to be happy and loved just like everyone else.

I am overcome with this wonderful calmness. I am happy to tell all of my friends that I was able to let go and it felt great. I smiled and laughed so much that my cheeks hurt!

Once upon a time there was a woman who could sleep,
She would go to bed with her dear little sheep

One day he broke the fence down,
And she was left with only a frown.

As time would go bye,
She did nothing but try

To not think of where the little sheep had gone,
But it was so hard to go and move on.

One day she asked the farmer, “Will my sheep ever come back?”
The farmer replied, “Only if he can find the right track.”

As cold nights set in that warm little sheep,
Was helping another woman fall fast asleep. Read the rest of this entry »